Seeing for the Benefit of Mr. Sight

Seeing for the Benefit of Mr. Sight

By Joey Zanaboni

Have you met the gaggle of Icelandic biker geese

Who love to haggle and generally disturb the peace?

If the answer is yes, if you have met ‘em and you know ‘em,

It will come as no surprise that they asked me to write this poem.

It happened last week, while I was in Howgreenismy Valley,

The biker geese cornered me at the front end of a dark, back alley.

Their fearless leader (whose name was Peter) honked and quacked

Until I had backed and backed into a giant Rubik’s cube, in fact.

Peter handcuffed my feet and feetcuffed my hands,

He taped my mouth and gave me a list of demands.

The goose told me to set aside my persephonous perplexions

And simply follow all the really, really written directions.

And oh how my heart did beat and beat

As I quickly, quietly read the sheet.

When I’d finished, I hitched up my drawers and swallowed bravely,

Preparing to follow the treacherous commands that the geese gave me.

The First Order

Change your name to Benelacker Tenyson Sarsuba

And proceed to rob a horse with a brush-like tuba.

Those fiends forced me to follow this insidious instruction,

Change my name, rob the horse, and write it off as a tax deduction!

The Second Order

Run to the park, eat a nice key lime pie,

Then crochet a new sweater, or you die!

And this order, this number two, follow it I had to, too

Even though the sweater was itchy and the pie was poo.

After that, I refused to comply, I refused to consent

I was done, I was finished, one hundred and ten percent!

But when Peter smashed my metatarsals with a cricket bat,

I decided to heed their words… and do a good job at that!

The Third Order

When you write your blog this thimble Thurs Day,

Make it fun and funny, full of words-on-play.

And, by gosh, I was so scared of the debt I’d owe ‘em

That I forgot my pride and composed this poem.

Call me a sellout if you must, but I think there are some geese you should not offend.

I followed their orders, I wrote this poem, and I made it out alive in the end!